Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Ke dapur la kite…





PnDas sekarang tak tahu nak update apa. Bermacam-macam perkara bermain di dalam kepala namun tak tahu nak luahkan macam mana. Bukan benda negative pun. Semenjak bermenjak ni PnDas sangat gigih mentelaah resepi yang PnDas rasa nak cuba. Belum setel projek A, PnDas terus nak jump projek B. Haish, kadang-kadang mende kecik macam ni pun boleh jadi stress. Apa la PnDas ni. Relax la. Nak masak pun berstress bagai.

So, Apa kata PnDas senaraikan dulu goal masakan yang bermain di fikiran. Senang lah sikit bila dah ready, boleh pick mana nak buat dulu.

PnDas nak cuba buat croissant. 2,3 hari ni nampak macam nak makan croissant. Bila tengok cara-cara, pertengahan jugak cara pembuatannya la. Senang sangat pun tak, susah sangat pun tak. Tapi kalau tak careful, memang tak jadi.

Pastu rasa nak buat Cheese Ring Pastry. Ala, macam croissant tapi buat bentuk star. Dalam dia letak cheese banyak-banyak, ade filling. Yang itu pun nampak senang nak buat, tapi kalau tak jaga-jaga, tak jadi juaga.

Kemudian PnDas plan nak buat Mexican Bun. Dari bertahun-tahun lepas nak buat tapi tak jadi-jadi. Alasannya PnDas rasa kebolehan buat roti PnDas macam ke laut. Selalu tak berapa nak jadi. Actually pada orang lain yang merasa bun dorang cakap best. Cuma personal thought PnDas rasa tak best. Tak seperti yang PnDas nak. But it’s ok, yang ini PnDas akan cuba realisasikan.

PnDas berkenan nak buat Paella. Paella ni makanan Spanish, sejenis risotto yang bercampur dengan macam-macam seafood. Tapi kalau ikut resepi sebenar, ade campuran wine. That part memang kena alter ikut tekak Muslim la. Masih lagi mentelaah ingredients nya. Tapi kan PnDas tak berapa gemar sangat nasi yang bercampur dengan susu atau cream. Huhuhu Takpe, yang ini kita ketepikan dulu.

Kek Pandan Cheese leleh pun PnDas rasa nak buat. Kawan masa diploma  PnDas buat Kek Pandan Cheese Leleh sedap betul. Siap jual lagi. Tapi PnDas tak berapa minat nak meniaga ni walaupun ada yang cakap makanan yang PnDas buat boleh dijual. Pelik kan perangai. PnDas suka masak atas dasar minat & suka-suka. Bila dah masuk fasa berniaga ni, PnDas rasa macam tertekan sebab nak kena ambil tempahan, siapkan and hantarkan. Sedangkan PnDas ada mood juga nak masak or baking. Mertua PnDas pun menggalakkan PnDas buat berniaga. Hahaha, maybe akan datang siapa tahu kot-kot PnDas dah mula jatuh cinta.

Food yang pernah PnDas hasilkan dan mendapat komen bagus sama ada daripada kawan-kawan or ahli keluarga. Antaranya ialah:

1)       Sushii / Kimbab
2)     Kimchii – masa tu kegilaan dengan KPOP wave, makanan dorang pun PnDas nak cuba
3)      Onigiri
4)     Vietnamese Spring Roll – Mertua PnDas sangat gemarkan makanan ni.
5)     Steamboat & Grill – Family PnDas akan request bila ada special occasion
6)     Chocolate Brownies
7)      Banana Chocolate – Yg ni buah sekali je, sebab tak larat nak beli bahan2. Mahal sgt.
8)      Chocolate Indulgence – Sama gak, kejadiannya awesome tapi nak membuatnya penat
9)     Nasi Arab – Kos melampau juga. PnDas akan beli beras yang memang mahal semata2 nak buat
10)  Nasi Beriyani – Ni pun sama gak.
11)    Pizza
12)   Kek Chocolate Moist
13)   Grilled Fish – Guna trout, dory, salmon.
14)   Bubur nasi or kekacang
15)   Asam pedas
16)   Portugese Egg Tart
17)   Chinese Dumpling / Korean Mandoo
18)   Chicken Masala / Varuval
19)  Spagetti – Bolognese, Alfredo, Carbonara. Many creations  yang pelik2.
20) Etc

Fuh banyak gak la sampai tak tertaip.  

                Semoga kemalasan PnDas tidak mengatasi kerajinan. Huhuhuuhu..

Akhirnya Aku Kahwin…… Woohoo


Alhamdulillah, syukur ke hadrat Ilahi bahawasanya CikDas opps PnDas sudah selamat bergelar sebagai isteri kepada MrLaboo pada tanggal 6th February 2016. Majlis perkahwinan kami Alhamdulillah berjalan dengan lancar. Kedua-dua orang tua kami amatlah gembira dan PnDas mengharapkan agar rumahtangga yang kami bina ini inshaaAllah dapat berkekalan hingga ke jannah. Aamiin.

Bercerita kepada topic ini,, buat masa sekarang PnDas dan suami tinggal bersama mertua di Shah Alam. Dekat tak dekat juga la dengan tempat kerja PnDas sekarang. Mujurlah masa belum kahwin dulu PnDas dah biasakan diri pergi kerja awal. Jadi bila lepas kahwin pun masih berterusan lah habit itu. Mertua PnDas kedua-duanya masih bekerja.

Sekarang ini PnDas masih lagi dalam situasi menyesuaikan diri dengan situasi, peranan, pengawalan emosi, etc. Kalau dulu PnDas boleh buat sesuatu sewenang-wenangnya tetapi sekarang bila sudah bersuami, haruslah bermuafakat dengan suami. Agak kekok tetapi inshaaAllah akan diusahakan perbaiki.

Bila dah kahwin ni mesti orang sibuk nak tanya pasal anak. PnDas dan suami tak merancang pun. Kalau ada rezeki Allah nak bagi maka PnDas terima. ^^ 

Kat bawah ni ade PnDas letakkan beberapa keping photo sebagai tatapan di hari bahgia PnDas







Friday, January 22, 2016

Stay Still..

Pagi ini fikiran CikDas bak gelas jernih berwap dengan gas. Nampak clear tetapi berwap. CikDas masih lagi dalam fikiran berkecamuk. Tiba-tiba ditegur oleh seorang pelawat yang datang ke office ini.

Cik, boleh pinjam stapler?” tanya nya

Kejap ye, stapler tu ape?” OMG, CikDas blackout seketika. Kemudian setelah mendapat visual di dalam benak barulah CikDas tercapai-capai mencari stapler. “Maaf Encik. Pagi-pagi ini sel otak saya belum bersambung dengan betul. Kejap saya pasang suis ye”.

Dan partner CikDas, Vee memerhatikan dengan wajah penuh hairan. TIdak mempedulikan dia, CikDas menyambung menaip. Biarkan jari jemari ini menaip sesuka hati.

CikDas risaukan tunang CikDas, Mr. Laboo. Dia nampak tertekan dan sedih. CikDas harap dapat membantu dia. Tapi tangan dan kaki CikDas pun  dah terikat dengan simpulan mati. Apa yang termampu CikDas dah tolong, tetapi segala-segalany terhad.  Kekangan dengan pelbagai. Semalam dia sepatutnya dapat payment drp  clientnya. Dengan payment itulah diharap dapat digunakan untuk mengandalkan kos majlis kami. Dugaan sungguh. Tapi takpe la, ada la rezeki itu nanti. CikDas tak putus-putus doa, sambil berharap dibentangkan rezeki untuk dia. Dipermudahkan segala urusannya. Semalam dia pegang tangan CikDas. Sangat erat genggaman itu. Katanya,

I’m worry if the client unable to pay tonight. Holding ur hand is just like charging my body’s battery

Sshhh.. Dun worry, dear. Inshaa Allah.” Hanya itu yang mampu CikDas katakan.

Ganbatte kudesai, Mr. Laboo. I know it’s tough. But everything will be fine. We’ll find a way okay. Just stay strong. Hang on there..

Notification for incoming WhatsApp message…

Tak Berjaya..

To be continued………………..


Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Glum Heart


CikDas kekeringan idea untuk mengupdate di blog ni. Dah bersawang agaknya. Lagi 2 minggu sebelum wedding CikDas. CikDas tak tahu nak rasa gemuruh jiwa semangat membara ke apa. Banyak yang bermain di fikiran CikDas ibarat system yang sedang nak crash disebabkan banyak application sedang running. Oleh yang demikian seandainya kelihatan tulisan ini agak merapu tepu, ini adalah kerana medulla oblongata CikDas sel nya masih dalam transmission ke pencawang yang betul.


Henpon CikDas pulak di saat saat dramatic dengan keadaan CikDas kelesuan berfikir memberi pulak signal untuk kondem. Mengapa???!  Sekarang item henpon yang nak kondem ni berlegar difikiran CikDas mencari solusi. Seperti, restart, reformat, baling ke dinding or beli yang baru. Isunya henpon ini bukan berkaitan dengan kegagalan membuat panggilan tetapi kehilangupayaan fungsi aplikasi untuk mengakses medan sosial. Wah, sebab tu je CikDas hangin?  Suddenly sahaja saja henpon ini mempamerkan imej comatose yakni persekitaran hitam dipermukaan skrin atau nama lainnya blank screen ( sleep mode). Selalunya segala bentuk isu dan pemasalahan harian CikDas akan dirujuk dengan PakCik Google. Melaluinya sahaja lah setiap sudut pandangan, rantingan tercapai untuk CikDas klik dan pilih mencari jawapan yang sesuai dengan jiwa tekak CikDas. Cuma hari ni, CikDas dan Pakcik Google seakan tidak berada dalam garisan selari. CikDas tidak mahu terlalu bergantung kepada PakCik Google. Sebab boleh dikatakan banyak kali juga PakCik Google mencarikan jawapan yang tak relevan dengan soalan CikDas. Lebih-lebih sekarang jiwa CikDas sedang kusut kacau bila dan CikDas tak mahu mencipta jurang atau rekahan tekanan emosi yang mula membibitkan gempa di daerah paling sunyi di hati CikDas. 


Kembali kepada nyata, selepas CikDas menarik pembaca menyelidiki secara khusus perjalanan fikiran CikDas. Tak mengapa, mungkin ada yang kekejangan seketika. Biarkan, tarik nafas dan teruskan membaca. Masih ada banyak lagi coretan beku tepu yang sedang dipecah-pecahkan bongkah untuk dikeluarkan. Seperti fridge bahgian beku yang kita cuba keluarkan frost dengan mengetuk- ngetuk, begitu juga lah demikian dengan idea CikDas sekarang ini yang sedang membeku di dalam sana tunggu di frost kan. Kadang-kadang CikDas terfikir, terlalu banyak yang CikDas nak keluarkan dari sana. Segala bentuk imej, imaginasi, kata – kata, semua CikDas nak tuliskan dalam blog nanti. Seperti kepala air terjun, namun sebongkah untuk dikeluarkan kena kuis-kuis dengan banyak penyedal. Selalunya ada sahaja kerikil yang membuatnya tersangkut. Mungkin terlalu banyak semut yang CikDas telan.

Jujur sekali semasa di alam remaja dulu. Apa yang bermain difikiran CikDas mudah sahaja diabadikan dalam bentuk tulisan untuk CikDas tatapkan di hari muka. Kini, kemahiran dan keupayaan itu seakan diputuskan. Tetapi mengapa? Acapkali CikDas berfikir sendiri, kenapa CikDas tak boleh seperti dulu? Apa yang menyebabkan CikDas berubah? Adakah ini sejenis kebaikan atau semakin menunjukkan keburukan?

Hati CikDas pun rasanya tidak semurni dulu. CikDas rasa CikDas semakin berubah. Tetapi CikDas tetap biarkan sepeti katak yang direbus dalam periuk. CikDas tak mahu lompat tapi membiarkan sahaja diri dalam air yang semakin panas itu. Membiarkan situasi walaupun sudah genting masih tak cuba selamatkan diri. Eh, Ego kah CikDas ni? 


Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Melodrama of my heart


This time I will write my entry with melodrama mode. Actually for this couples of weeks are not a good week for me. I’m in trouble as my housemate and her younger sister was accusing me for stealing the purse, I mean her younger sister’s purse.  I don’t know how to begin this story. But firstly it’s happened with the hazelnut.

Let’s say I named her as Lily. Lily is Rose’s sister (my housemate) who always coming to our house and stay there when Rose was out for job’s travels. She’s a student who still pursuing for her Master. Instead of Rose & me, we have another housemate who named, Daisy. Daisy is a quiet person. She always spends most of her time in her room. I don't have a problem with that.

One day Lily, informed that her hazelnut (the left over from her previous baking) was gone missing. I said I didn’t take it plus as far as I remember even-though I also love baking or cooking I don’t take people’s belonging unless if I ask for permission. Plus, this incident was happened about 3 months ago, of course not many people can have this sharp of memory. Perhaps possibly maybe I’ve accidentally move the hazelnut to other container, but that part I don’t admit because like I’ve said it’s perhaps possibly or maybe. If I’m certainly remembered I’ve transfer the so called “beloved” hazelnut to other container which mixed up with other nuts or dry food, I’ll definitely apologize and buy a new one for her. But in this case, I’m also not sure because I feel that I don’t. A few days later, I came to know that she lost her purse inside the house. She claimed that impossible the purse went missing as she didn’t go out from a house. I asked her to be sure whether she might be misplaced. But she confirmed that she put the purse as at the usual place which is on the table in the LIVING ROOM.

My first thought is only an idiot will leave an important thing unattended or a phrase in a Malay, “biarkan bersepah and bila dah hilang menyusahkan orang”. At first place you should know, even in your own house without anybody there you cannot simply leave your things in a place where people can take it easily especially a thing like a purse / wallet. I thought this issue will settled however it’s getting worst because she referring to someone who is a shaman (bomoh of her hometown). The “so called a great shaman” who can predict this supernatural thingy. And guess what she said,”Really awesome”. The culprit is inside the house, and indirectly pointed to me. Together with the Hazelnut incident & missing purse, I was being accused for stealing. Hello??! & Excuse me!! I’m also DO NOT KNOW how your purse look like, in the end I’m the one who’s be the culprit? Why the reason not accused the other housemate – Daisy?, because she’s not taking it as she always being quiet. Ok, fair enough. She’s quiet and I’m also not doubting her. This is because none of us are the thief. Do you know why? All this while, before Lily came to our house, none of these stupid things happened. We left our important things in our own room, like purse, handbag with door open because of what? We trust each other. This is because the people’s who staying in this house are not a BAD PERSON including me, Daisy and Rose.

Last time Rose, her sister entrusted me to keep the house owner’s money.  She said she can’t trust herself but she knows I can keep the money. Do you have any idea how much is it? RM1000!!. Inside the purse she claimed got RM300 or RM200. See the different??! RM1000 vs RM200.The RM1000 was safe with me for more than a month? Do you think a regular thief behavior will not touch the money? Plus, I just withdrawn my cash from ASB almost RM1500, what’s on earth I want to take the money inside the purse??? Please la, next time if want to accused people, come out with solid or proof evident, like CCTV, photo snap, video  etc. Do not just come with this supernatural thingy. It’s not healthy. You pray and ask with Allah. Don’t accused people like this.  It’s really hurtful.

And now making it worst, Rose together joined the battle with her sister and attacked me with harsh word in her FB. Saying this and that, all are very extreme and insulting words. Do you know how it’s upset my feeling? Let me tell you something, if I’m a thief:

1)   This “thief” wouldn’t cook for extra home cook for the rest of the housemates even though the housemates don’t do the same. If I’m a thief why should I care about you??
2)   This “thief” wouldn’t allow you to use for almost of her belongings in the house. The oven that Lily use to bake her hazelnut brownies & cake are belong to this “thief”.
3)   The water filter that you’ve drank are belong to this “thief”.
4)   This “thief” wouldn’t throw your rubbish together with her own rubbish if they forgot to throw. The “thief” should be selfish right? Why she want to be kind?
5)   The dining table that most being put with your things / foods / 3 in 1 are belong to this “thief”. Even this "thief" couldn't put her own things. 
6)   This “thief” wouldn’t slow down the water flow inside her bathroom while taking shower if the other’s housemate is also using the other bathroom, considering that the low water pressure.Again, a thief should be self-centered. Do you know that? Of course, you don't.
7) This "thief" will use your food supply in the fridge since that you already used up all the space in the freezer to the extend this "thief" can't put her own stuff. But still your foods remains untouched. Do you know that? Of course, you don't.

So, currently don’t be mad if:
  1.      I pretend not to see you in the house. Because seeing and to forgive is really hard for now.
  2.      I  show my emotionless face. Because I don’t want to hate you.
  3.      I  don’t reply your insulting words in FB not because I’m feel guilty or scared, but I feels it’s pointless to explain for the people who’s got the blind heart. If you want to win, you take it. If you want the throphy, you have it.
  4.     I want to move my life with the people who really know who I am. If you failed to feel my trueself all this while, it’s such a lost for you. Sorry, nobody can help it.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

How to survive in the office politic?



Sounds a heavy headline, but for those in working environment whether you like it or not, have to admit or not, the office politic is almost everywhere. Hit like button if you agreed. By the way, where’s my LIKE button? ^_^

Well well, my beloved readers who are with enthusiasm reading my blog (I wonder if this is the right word). Thank you for your support. I will look forward to write my blog with a language that everybody can understand. Sorry if before this you have to Google Translate my blog (I mean for those foreign reader who don’t understand Malay Language plus I’m using short form for Malay which hardly for Google to translate. I’m apology for that). Moving forward I will try to write in English and pardon me if sometimes my English is not that good. ^_^

Now back to the topic. Let’s talk how I survive in my office politic, based on my true story. 




#1: Live at peace with others

-              Indeed. The basic rule we have to follow. We come to the office not to find an enemy. We want to earn money for our livings and that’s it. The way I make peace with others is, I don’t make them too close to me. If too close, they will know our secrets, our weaknesses. If they know our weaknesses, then that’s the time the trouble will come.  As you know, bad things always spread quickly. Live peace with others and at the same time do not let your guts down. In contrary, you wouldn’t get people to remember your birthday and celebrate it in your office. Is it a matter for you? But for me it doesn’t matter for people not remembering my birthday or not. ^_^

#2: Be helpful

-              The word “helpful” might be taken advantage in the office politic. You know, sometimes being “helpful” can harm you in the office.  From certain people‘s perpective, if you help other people doing their job, they might think “She/He is so free. Don’t have own work that’s why can help others.” Jealousy and envy will rose. You want to help others but in the end you’re get mess. See? So, what you can do is, you still can offer your help but not too immediate. You can say that you still got few things to finish. Request some time before you offer your help.  This is what I always did in my office eventhough I’m not that fukcing busy.

A: Can you help me on this?

Me: Is it urgent?

A: Not really, but still need to finish by today

Me: Then, can I help you after I've done this? Give me another half an hour before I help you yaa?

A: Owh, you busy eh?

Me: Yerpp, but still can help you a bit. But not for long since I have to continue my work after that.

A: Thank you ya.

Me: Ur welcome.

#3: Stay out of those talk-down-the-boss sessions

-              You don’t like your boss and you start complaining about him/her. Be careful with the person you talk with. He/She might be a spy or tell your boss about your complaint. If he / she find out your complaint, you are definitely a deathmeat. The best person to talk complaint about your boss is the person who never attached with your current organization.  I keep few of my non-office related friends just in case I want to talk bad about my boss. Well, actually my boss is not that bad. So, I don’t have any major issue with him. Only a certain mild issue I feel that he’s being modestly unfair to me sometimes. Other than that, I’m okay with him. I’m still can tolerate his qualities towards me. ^_^

#4: Be a straight arrow

-              Be a straight arrow means you don’t getting involved of any office politic. For example, like my previous entry Foxy Versus Halitosis. You do not sides any squad. Just being neutral and talk to both of them. If they want you to be their ally, be a straight arrow. Like I always said to them. “I don’t want to be in the middle of your both arguments. It’s not healthy for me because I have to entertain both of you.” And that’s the beginning of the bitch-talking each other behind. What I have to do is to listen quietly. Haishhh. . But in the end others will respect you, even if they don't always agree with you. More important, you have a lower chance of being a victim of politics.

#5: Give time and understand the psyche of your colleagues and seniors

-              It is important to be aware of people you are working with. Don’t brainlessly express your thought without understand the whole situations. You have to be careful, tactful and above all you have to be a good listener. Like mine, I always being their good listener. Everyone wants to be heard. If you can just pay attention to people, within a short span of time you will build up their self-reliance in you. When they’re confidence, you can grow their trust. If you understand the people then it is easier to pact with them. Seriously, it’s work out on me currently.

So far, these are some of my tips that I can share with all of you. I hope it may help you in dealing your office politic. Still our life is full with challenges. This is also is part of our life obstacles. So, don’t think too stressly. Every problem has its own solution. It’s just only the matter of times.



Foxy Versus Halitosis


I have a story about 2 managers. In this story I will name them as Foxy and Halitosis. Foxy as far as I know is considering a man with hidden DarkVader. Only certain people will get to see that “dark side”.This is because he’s hiding very well with his gentleman appearance.  Wahahah, so cunning isn’t? People with this trait;

I have to extremely, tremendously, definitely, absolutely, certainly, enormously be careful and tactful. If not I’ll be trapped in the shitty situation. Huarghhh.

 The Halitosis manager is on the other part, I can say most or majority people who work in this organization feels dislike with him. But that also contribute to his weird personality. He is the person with blurred conversation always made people feel uncomfortable. I presume he got a Hashimoto Brain’s disease as the symptoms most likely close to that.

I am as the middle person for these managers. I listen to both naggings and bitching (should I feel bigheaded?).  How I’m supposed to do? To take which side one of them really incommodious? Occasionally I feel exhausting on how to put my face’s reaction. Should I just showing motionless expression?

Sometime I feel like I’m acting like an adjudicator. I listen to both stories. Both sides have good points as well. Foxy said Halitosis until now doesn’t achieve any target for his sales. Go here, go there, coming back to this office and end up nothing.  Yerp, I see that result and undeniable it’s true.

Halitosis on the other hand told me, that Foxy got a stinky heart that he wants to control everything. He being assigned to sell an expensive property values which is understandable we cannot get immediate buyer. I also agreed with that as well.

But honestly, openly, directly, frankly, essentially, actually,

I’m much more comfortable with Foxy rather than Halitasis. I don’t quite sure why but I can list down few of positive traits of him. And tell me back do you agree or not.
1.       Foxy is an optimist person. Every problem he tackles as an opportunity. While Halitosis always look at as a problem.
2.       Foxy is an organized person. Everything he does always in structure, keeping the latest update, always tidy. Not opening any rooms for management to question his doings. While Halitosis always come with excuse here and there. Not alert with changes, always asking the same question, not keeping the update and always do opening for him to be attacked. For example, caught snoring while having an assembly with the bosses. Isn’t too much?
3.       Foxy will not asking for other help if he can do it himself. Halitosis always request other people to do his favor even he can do it himself.
4.       Foxy use a gentleman’s tone when talking to a person if requesting a favor while Halitosis use his giant hoarse tone event just to ask for a small favor. FYI, I’m not deaf. So, literally he can lower down his voice. 

Versus
 Now, tell me. Which one is more convenient??? ^_^

Friday, October 9, 2015

My recently thought about wedding.

Wedding is the happiest thing for most people on Earth. I suppose 100% so.  Its rare to find people which are not happy about their wedding unless they’re been force marrying somebody they dislike.

But probably, basically, technically, honestly, generally, seriously and actually
Planning a wedding for myself is the thing I hate the most.
Why?
Frankly I don’t have the convincing answer either.

I don’t really discern what I want about my wedding especially what to wear, what doorgift to prepare, guest to invite, canopy & catering, etc. Everyday Google searching until my head got giddy, wind up I’m still not getting any results. A sound pathetic but it’s true.

I kinda have this traits which I presume, identify, recognize, and distinguish me as self-defeating or masochistic.

People said, “This is your wedding. You’re the decision maker. Don’t bother other people might say. Just go with your own wind and flow”. Haishhh, my head began to fissure every moment I think about it.

But my masochistic said, “Well, you have to consider other’s opinion as well. The wedding is not only about you. It’s also involving people around you. The people are also celebrating your wedding together with you.  Agree with their opinions. That might sound not so bad.” Suddenly this thought pop up in my head.

Woahh, it’s so damn aggravating. Why just I can’t be honestly?

Apparently, I also can’t be sincere. Feel wanna whack my face. Wake up, young lady!
Is this we called pre-wedding jitter? I did not enjoy wedding planning, for the most part. Perhaps due to small financial budget for wedding preparation, I have to save cost as possible as I can. I cut corners wherever possible, saved money at every opportunity. But happen to be slowly it’s beyond the control. Uhuk uhuk.. T_T. Feeling helpless. Somebody please help me to calm.

I think that’s the beginning of my pre wedding anxiety. I hope it will be ended soon. Really really hope.
Or else I might rip my outfit and turn to be the green beast.. Woargghhhhh!!  ( Ms. Hulk). T_T


I suppose my brain currently working like that lorh.. 


The feeling that I'm counter right now..



Thursday, October 8, 2015

Count Down…

Lagi 4 bulan before majlis raja sehari CikDas. Antara preparation yang CikDas dah buat so far:
  1. Booking Catering & Canopy. Done. CikDas ambil catering & canopy daripada Teluk Intan. Boleh refer Am Catering. Kat Facebook pun ada. Boleh tengok khemah dia yang not bad.
  2. Booking PA sytem. Done. Sekali tempat dengan booking Catering & Canopy.
  3. Booking Photographer untuk Solemnization, Sanding & Outdoor. Done. CikDas browse dekat KahwinMall and nampak service dia ni. Stay kat Gerik and majlis CikDas dekat Kg Gajah. Rezeki dapat pakej promosi bawah RM1k. Pastu takde claim mileage. Just bayar rm100 untuk booking. Name service photographer Jis Photography. Boleh selak gak kat FB.
  4. Booking Pelamin, Andaman & Solekan. Done. CikDas dapat dekat Seri Iskandar. Mula-mula cari dekat Seri Manjung, mak CikDas berkenan yang Jalinan Qaseh yang kononnya 1 stop for All tu. Alih-alih pergi sana jumpa tapi salah faham dan terus balik. Lepas tu terus pergi Seri Iskandar. Pusing-pusing cari Butik Pengantin, kepenatan terus grab butik mana yang kami jumpa dulu. Rezeki CikDas macam tu agaknya.
  5. Booking Baju Nikah. Done. Hari tu beli kain kat Jakel  and dapat offer. Cuma harga tempah jahitan agak mahal sikit menurut firasat CikDas.
  6. Booking Baju Bertandang. Done. CikDas tempah jahit jubah dress. Guna kain extra 5m beli kat Jakel. CikDas dapat percuma bila beli set kain lace & satin.
  7. Booking Veil & Shawls untuk nikah & bertandang. Done
  8. Wedding Card. Pending. Plan nak combine je card tu dengan Mr. Laboo. Senang letak 2 address nanti
  9. Barang Hantaran. Pending. Plan nak beli barang hantaran masa Year End Sales nanti. Bergantung kepada keadaan.
  10. Goodies bag untuk tetamu. Pending. Ini CikDas masih lagi kepeningan nak letak apa. Tunggu la Ilham berbicara



Macam ni sebenarnya inner feeling CikDas walaupun kat luar nampak cool.
Panic attack.


Haish.. Haish..



Friday, August 21, 2015

My Inner Thought

Sekarang sudah nak masuk penghujung August. Cepat sungguh masa berlalu. Pejam celik dah nak masuk hujung tahun. Tadi selak FB ternampak Ex besties Cikdas sedang dukung anak dia. Comel betul anak dia. Bila mengenang balik time masa kami close dulu. Pedih gak la hati. Kena tuduh macam-macam. Maybe silap CikDas juga dulu sebab terlalu akrab sangat dengan keluarga dia. Sampai CikDas disalahertikan oleh mak dia. Sampai mak dia boleh terfikir CikDas ada affair dengan bapak dia sendiri. Nauzubillah, mengenang balik hal itu, lebih baik kami membawa haluan masing-masing. Apa-apa pun jasa family dia dulu pada CikDas, memang CikDas tak pernah lupa. Cuma sampai situ sahaja la. Biarla dia dan mak dia nak fikir macam-macam. Yang penting CikDas tau siapa diri CikDas. Selebihnya biar Allah yang tentukan.  Syahdu pula topic hari ni ye.


CikDas rasa nak meluahkan rasa terpendam di sini. Ye la kan, luahkan pada manusia kang kecik hati, gaduh, sentap, tak mau kawan lagi. Letih pulak kalau hidup selalu berkonflik dengan orang untuk issue –issue yang remeh. Tapi kalau tak diluahkan, makin membarah pula di dalam hati. Pun tak bagus juga, boleh membibitkan rasa dendam. Salah satu cara ialah meluahkan melalui penulisan. Issue kali ni memang kecik pun, korang baca pun rasa.. “ Hek eleh dia ni, pape pun slow talk la. Bincang leklok”. Yes, I get your point, benda boleh bawa berbincang. Tapi CikDas tak rasa nak bincang mende-mende kecil tu kat dorang. Sebab ia boleh menjejaskan hati, tanggapan dan kekeruhan.Nampak senang nak cakap tapi susah juga sebenarnya walaupun dah guna ayat yang kita rasa cukup lembut, tapi hati orang boleh teka kah??  Jalan terbaik, CikDas taip kat sini. Lepaskan kat sini, and I will be ok. Kisahnya begini, budak hosmet CikDas suka beli stok makanan banyak-banyak simpan dalam peti sejuk ( bahgian frozen) sampai orang lain tak boleh nak simpan barang. Pastu tak tau bila nak masak. Setiap hari CikDas buka peti sejuk, space tak juga berkurangan. Kat situ je tak berubah. Benda-benda macam ni, kalau disuarakan memang tak best. Boleh mencetuskan ketegangan. So, have some courtesy la. Janganla perap barang tu lama-lama sampai orang lain nak guna ruang pun tak dapat. Malas nak bising-bising, CikDas beli stok untuk masak sekali je. Nak simpan stok memang tak payahla buat masa sekarang.  Fuh, lega dapat keluarkan rasa tak puas hati tu. 

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Raya oh Raya




Hola hola.. Maaf la, CikDas baru sahaja kembali ke arena kerja selepas bercuti raya selama seminggu lebih. Best betul bercuti sampai boleh lupa nama kawan-kawan ofis. Terrible kan? Raya tahun ni agak biasa biasa sahaja. Arwah nenek baru meninggal. Maksu dan keluarga tak dapat balik beraya kerana suaminya tak sihat. Kesudahannya raya koboi la CikDas dan keluarga. 1st  day raya dekat Kelantan, 2nd day raya dekat Pokok Sena, Kedah. 3rd day raya dekat Kg Gajah Perak. Macam pergi outstation. Tapi itulah family kami. Takde nya nak balik kampong lelama. Dengan abah CikDas buang tebiat nak balik kampong dengan superbike dia.  Adoiii, pening pening.. Tapi alhamdulillah selamat pergi dan balik. ^_^

My mom masih lagi stay di rumah Angah & isteri menemani cucunya di Kg Melayu Subang. Happy CikDas dapat bermain dengan anak buah. Lebih-lebih lagi dia senang tidur bila CikDas dodoikan. Oh oh oh, siapa pula yang jadi emak ni ya? Raf  ialah ( name manje CikDas bagi)  nama anak buah CikDas. Raf ni comel bebetul tapi agak moody. Kalau hari ni mood seindah suria besok nya mood dia ribut petir kilat sabung menyabung sampai kan nenek, abi dan ibu memujuk pun tak makan dek saman. Raf ni untung sebab menjadi cucu sulung dua-dua belah ibu and abi nya. Jadi memang semua perhatian bagi kat dia la. Agaknya itu pasal ngada-ngada sikit. Tapi takpe la, ngada-ngada pun auntyLong tetap sayang kat Raf.. Hehehehe



Pasal Mr. Laboo? Apa yang CikDas nak update tentang beliau? Dia semakin “berkembang”  menjadi lebih besar sedikit daripada biasa. Seminggu lebih tak jumpa dia makin gebu pulak muka & badan dia. Katanya dia senang hati. Amboiii, manis aje jawapan. Yang ini pun satu lagi “X-Files” yang tak boleh solve. Rasanya CikDas kena letak jawatan sebagai Menteri Bebelan dan Leteran. Lantak la nak membesar ke mengembang ke.. Still I love him the way he is.. ^_^


Monday, July 27, 2015

Puasa oh puasa

Oh, today is 1st July 2015. Rumors kata minyak naik lagi RM0.10. Tak tau lah sebab belum pergi isi minyak lagi. Malas nak komen pasal minyak turun naik ni. Ibarat anjing menyalak bukit. Suara sakit, bukit pun tak runtuh. Lain la kalau CikDas menulis kat sini ada pak menteri terbaca and terharu terus nak turunkan harga minyak which memang unbelievable la akan berlaku. Ahaks.. Skip la topic sebab CikDas bukan pakar.

Apakah yang CikDas lakukan sepanjang bulan puasa? Macam biasa-biasa je aktiviti. Pergi kerja, pergi bazaar, balik rumah, makan, solat, mandi, tido dan besoknya buat menda yang sama. Membaca pasal life CikDas pun dah boring gila kan? Then apa solution untuk CikDas bagi situasi ini? Seriously memang dull life macam ni. Stok kawan-kawan baik rasanya dah tak banyak. Sebab CikDas pun mula mengurangkan aktiviti social. Kawan-kawan yang CikDas ada sekarang Cuma yang betul-betul close dan mempunyai persamaan linear tentang life experience. It’s very sad to have once so called BFF tapi once berlaku konflik yang tak dapat dielakkan, that BFF relationship putus macam tu like nothing. Bila difikir-fikirkan sakitnye tuh bagaikan putus cinta dengan boyfriend. Sahabat yang bersama time susah senang, gelak sedih, then after that, becoming a totally stranger. But still orang cakap this is life. End up you have to be a lone ranger. Takde la lone mana pun, but currently still CikDas bersyukur masih ada sahabat yang berkualiti walaupun berlainan agama but memahami diri masing-masing. That’s so RARE.. ^_^


p/s: Draft ni CikDas dah siapkan awal-awal tapi tak berkesempatan untuk upload.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The Part Time..

Semalam CikDas baru start first puasa. Hari ke 6 Ramadhan baru CikDas boleh berpuasa. So CikDas rasa nak berbuka dengan Mr. Laboo. Akan tetapi di atas issue-issue yang tidak dapat dinyatakan di sini, CikDas majuk lagi dengan Mr. Laboo. Uhuk, uhuk semenjak dua menjak ni hati CikDas amatla sensitive. Tersalah cakap aja boleh sentap. Woah, pening gak la Mr Laboo nak melayan karenah CikDas ni.

Issue majuk ialah bila CikDas cakap dengan Mr. Laboo yang CikDas nak wat part time kat sebuah kafe from 8.00pm – 12.00am. Conversation lebih kurang macam ni la..

CD: ML, if CD cakap sesuatu ML mesti tak setuju ni?

ML: Apa dia? Cakap la dulu

CD: I cakap lepas pegi solat Asar dulu ya.

Lepas solat Asar, dalam kereta CikDas baru beritahu Mr. Laboo.

CD: Sebenarnya camni, boleh tak I nak wat part time sebagai kitchen assistant dekat satu kafe ni?

Terus Mr. Laboo jawab.

ML: No… N. O. No… ( dengan tegas )

CD: Kenapa? ( suara CikDas dah nak meninggi )

ML: Memang tak la.. I tau sangat diri u kalau dah penat. Ingat dulu u pernah masuk kerja dari 6am – 6pm. Itu pun dah badmood. Marah-marah I, pukul I pun ada. Sebabnya u penat. Memang tak la I nak bagi u kerja extra lagi dari pukul 8.00pm – 12.00am. Experienced, sayang. N.O.. No

CD: Bagi la I try dulu tengok camne..

ML: No… N. O.. Noooo…

CikDas dah mula buat muka grumpy face. Tak puas hati betul kena reject asking permission ni. Dan muka CikDas semakin ketat plus sour. But still Mr. Laboo tak nak compromise. Well, tak 100% pun salah dia kenapa dia bertegas macam tu. Dia memang ingat segala benda yang CikDas dah buat. Yang tak baik, yang baik tengtang CikDas even CikDas sendiri  pun dah lupa.

CD: Tapi I dah janji dengan orang tu nak datang malam ni.

ML: Takpe, cakap aja tak jadi.

CD: Senang nya cakap. I tak suka orang ingat I ni mungkir janji

ML: Memang senang pun. Cakap je la you tak jadi part time. And you have to promise me that you will never go tonight.

CikDas silent mode. Baru plan nak buat belakang dia. Dia ni kan……

ML: Hello, Assalam’ualaikum… Assalamu’alaikum…

CD: Wa’alaikumussalam ( kena jawab salam la )

ML: Dengar tak apa I cakap ni?

CD: Dengar

ML:  You promise me you tak pergi malam ni tau? Sayang.. I’m waiting your answer.

CD: Ye la ye la… I tak pergi.. Kalau pergi gak I mati eksiden.. ( CikDas geram and terlepas cakap macam tu)

ML: Kenapa nak cakap macam tu? U ni kan..

Sebagai resultnya plan asal nak pergi bazaar tak jadi sebab Mr Laboo nak settle issue tak puas hati CikDas ni. Well, after almost half an hour berpusing dengan kereta, memang semata-mata nak buat issue settlement. Selagi issue tak settle Mr Laboo memang takkan hantar CikDas balik. Dia cukup tak berkenan if CikDas pendam aja masalah tu. Walaupun kata-kata agak mengguris, dia lebih suka CikDas meluahkan daripada menyimpan. Dan CikDas bila dah disuruh buat macam tu, memang tak tapis apa-apa pun. Kalau orang cakap, point tu memang menusuk kalbu la. Still Mr. Laboo telan jua point-point itu.

Lepas je keadaan dah ok, and persetujuan tercapai Mr. Laboo ambil handphone and call his mama.

ML: Hello, mama. It’s me. Is it ok if CikDas will be joining us for buka puasa? She buka puasa alone. Really mama? Ok, thank you.

Mr. Laboo pandang CikDas.

ML: Now issue buka puasa kat mana dah settle. Berbuka kat rumah I.

CikDas diam and plus rasa segan.
So, semalam CikDas berbuka puasa dengan keluarga Mr. Laboo. Huhuhu…