My recently thought about wedding.

Wedding is the happiest thing for most people on Earth. I suppose 100% so.  Its rare to find people which are not happy about their wedding unless they’re been force marrying somebody they dislike.

But probably, basically, technically, honestly, generally, seriously and actually

Planning a wedding for myself is the thing I hate the most.

Why?

Frankly I don’t have the convincing answer either.

I don’t really discern what I want about my wedding especially what to wear, what doorgift to prepare, guest to invite, canopy & catering, etc. Everyday Google searching until my head got giddy, wind up I’m still not getting any results. A sound pathetic but it’s true.

I kinda have this traits which I presume, identify, recognize, and distinguish me as self-defeating or masochistic.

People said, “This is your wedding. You’re the decision maker. Don’t bother other people might say. Just go with your own wind and flow”. Haishhh, my head began to fissure every moment I think about it.

But my masochistic said, “Well, you have to consider other’s opinion as well. The wedding is not only about you. It’s also involving people around you. The people are also celebrating your wedding together with you.  Agree with their opinions. That might sound not so bad.” Suddenly this thought pop up in my head.

Woahh, it’s so damn aggravating. Why just I can’t be honestly?

Apparently, I also can’t be sincere. Feel wanna whack my face. Wake up, young lady!

Is this we called pre-wedding jitter? I did not enjoy wedding planning, for the most part. Perhaps due to small financial budget for wedding preparation, I have to save cost as possible as I can. I cut corners wherever possible, saved money at every opportunity. But happen to be slowly it’s beyond the control. Uhuk uhuk.. T_T. Feeling helpless. Somebody please help me to calm.

I think that’s the beginning of my pre wedding anxiety. I hope it will be ended soon. Really really hope.

Or else I might rip my outfit and turn to be the green beast.. Woargghhhhh!!  ( Ms. Hulk). T_T

I suppose my brain currently working like that lorh.. 

The feeling that I'm counter right now..