Monday, October 18, 2010

Its just a beginning…!!

Semalam hari Ahad, aku tak pegi mana2, just lepaking jer kat rumah. Buka YM, surfing the Internet. Itu je yang aku wat semalam. YM lak aku cuma YM dengan Nenek and sorang budak Uitm. Berstory telling. Pastuh, menyelak FB, sesi mengutuk dgn neneknye Crush. I’m happy for her. Ingtkan si “Tuut” ada online, tapi hampeh. Tade lah plak.

Aduii.. bosan tol idup aku lately neh. Tade ke sorang dua lelaki yang baik2 yang boleh ceriakan hidup aku nan boring tahap babun nih. I mean bukan untuk kapel2 tapi tuk sharing & caring. Tapi apa yang aku jumpa semua menghampakan. Hampeh.. Bila aku suka dat guy, dat guy lak tak berapa nak suka kat aku. Bila aku tak suka, berlambak lak yang suka kat aku.. Y? Y? n Z?

Dlm tagged smlm aku buka ada mesej dari Si Gilos. Tak abes-abes lagi nak kacau idup aku. Aku dah kata tak mahu, paham2 sudah lah. Pegi la cari gurl lain. Takkan tak cukup2 lagi kena belasah dengan aku ari tuh. Dah la guna cara kotor. Pegi colet minyak pengasih kat aku, supaya aku ikut cakap dia. Well, sekius me, ur portion didn’t effect to me coz I always believe in Allah. Allah protected me from ur bad intention. Kalau lah bunuh tuh halal dalam Islam aku rasa, dia antara manusia terawal kena bunuh dengan aku. Sangat benci dan meluat tengok muka makhluk tu. Really my nightmare..!!

Disebabkan kerana jumpa mahkluk cemtuh aku jadi paranoid nak kawan dengan lelaki. Just main-main jer. Ello, bukan aku yang mulakan dulu. So, padam la muka lau pas nih kena dengan aku. Nak gained alik trust nih, hanya insan terpilih je yang dapat. Selebihnya, aku lebih trust my guts feeling. My intuition always leading me to identify which one is good or bad. Hopefully, my logic is still working.

Nenek dah sibuk tany kt aku bila aku nak update blog. I’m sorry, dear. Lately ni, idea tak datang2. Nak cerita pun mcm tade cerita. Listening to the song from Dream Theater. Well, I guess I started to miss him already. Doesn’t matter how he’ll react towards me. But each time I start to miss him, dis song really reminded a lot. I dun care if he doesn’t know. Its better dis way. To love is to get another pain. Love rejection also a pain. Between keeping all alone and get rejected, I guess by keeping it all still not as suffering as love rejection. If I confessed and it caused an odd feeling and affect our normal relationship I guess being silence is a better way. After all, I’m a tough girl. I can endure the pain especially this type of pain. I really got plenty of experiences & to add some more shouldn’t be a problem. Bring it on, babe. See, how I manage to stand. Huhuhuhu..
Ok, enough for today. I’ll try to add more next time.

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